In deep thoughts

I know it has been such a long time. Finally I’m back.

I’ve had a series of positively odd experiences.

I never expected that some individuals I love can also be indifferent. I refuse to believe they are capable of choosing to be that way, nevertheless I am disappointed. I hope this fades away soon.

Apart from this inconvenient feeling, I am still thankful that I am blessed. I am forever grateful for these blessings:

1. Family. They may be weird but still they are happy and shiny people. I know the past few months were bumpy and rough but we managed to be sane. I love them to bits and pieces.

2. Friends. They hear me out when I rant and let me do all my crazy antics. They’re my friends way back when we were still tadpoles wearing our checkered red skirts, my post-teenage-dream chikiting patrol, my colleagues in the so-called happiness factory and all those friends I seldom see.

3. Outdoor world connections. They made me realize there’s more to explore and enjoy in life than sitting behind a laptop. The world is still beautiful after all.

4. My Puppy love. He came back and made me believe all over again that a happy ending is possible and it can be real.

5. My Nemesis. That person is still out there and I really hope he would also be ok.

For now, I just got out of bed and typed all these random thoughts for the day.

Life is all about living.

Everlong

Today is the 1st day of March. I was not able to write anything last month. I was too busy with work and personal concerns.

I am trying to log on to my jobstreet.com.ph account. Screw my Globe signal. I have been exploring all my options and so far no progress at all.

I am working my ass off in the urban jungle but I do not really love my job anymore. I am literally bored out of my wits. Almost 7 years in an FMCG company but every year there are too many brilliant minds who do not really care about the changes they want to implement. Again, there is no such thing as for the greater good.

I have reached my saturation point years ago but I do not want to be unemployed. If only this damn signal would finally connect, all the possibilities would be one click away.

Hello I’ve waited here for you!

Numerical solutions

I have been eating numbers for the past weeks. I am reminded how much I loathe dealing with numbers. It’s making me cranky all the time.

Ironically my job entails me to stick up my butt resolving numbers and more numbers every single day for the entire week. I wonder where Mrs. Piscasio is. She was my Trigonometry teacher way back in high school. It was probably the only Math subject I did not really hate as much. Down the memory lane again.

Can Math provide solution to find one’s true love? Definitely NOT. Where did that come from anyway?

Finally it’s Friday. I am super excited not to do anything. Hurray!!!!

I will begin again.

I went home to my niche during the Christmas break. This explains why I have not posted anything.

I was so busy reconnecting and living in my comfort zone.

I miss home. I miss mama. I miss my siblings. I miss the mess. I miss nacho and chippy. I miss not eating alone. I miss walking in daisies street. I miss being with my chikiting patrol. I miss talaba. I miss the familiarity. I miss love.

I am now choking in tears because it has never been easy living alone and trying to be ok when I’m clearly not. I am definitely homesick.

Stop it Maida. Step out of your depression. It does not suit you at all.

I am looking forward to the remaining 360 days of 2012. I have to be optimistic that this will be another remarkable year.

I cannot live out here and continue killing my time. I need to refresh my bucket list and start checking them once again. I have to find my purpose soon.

Alone and an easy target. Definitely not.

Most of the time, I am alone. There is comfort in solace, but loneliness strikes at the most unexpected hours of any given day or night. I am sinking on the latter state at this very moment.

I keep myself busy because I don’t want to be vulnerable.

I just want to go home soon.

A boy is a boy and a girl is a girl.

I caught a glimpse of my toes and I get really emotional. I have one nail-less toenail and three dying toenails. I blame my Manta experience for this depressing state of my toenails. Everybody keeps on telling me they will all grow back normally within one year. 365 days. I should be doing cartwheels by the time they are all ok. I miss seeing them in their normal state.

My point is, I am still a girl and I am very particular with my feet. A lot of people have already told me they look like alien feet. I honestly don’t care. I love my feet, the left and the right. At least they are still soft, no ugly and wrinkly lines. I cannot show them in public as much as I want to. I have to keep them away from direct sunlight because my toenails are in their most horrible condition.

I declined an invite to drink and be merry. I don’t have any qualms about these people. I actually like being with them. I definitely appreciate them for the rest of my life. But, the last time I checked I still have all my girly parts. I am a girl though my alcohol tolerance is beyond normal of an xy chromosome and is in fact, equivalent to an xx chromosome, I am not a boy. Okay.

I need to go out on a real date soon. I’m certainly hiding my toes. I don’t want to scare the person away.

Please do the rationale on this one.

Allergies all over again

I have a clogged nose.
I have been sneezing endlessly since this morning.
I had to put on hold a “major” activity because I hated our comfort rooms at the office.
I now have a splitting headache.
I think I have a slight fever.
I am definitely sick.

Hot mess

I was checking my emails and was really upset reading an email directed to a batchmate of 2Konse. We were all required to pay a significant amount as contribution for our upcoming Christmas party this Friday. This particular person has not yet paid his share. Our batch rep sent him an email through our yahoo group and everybody else read it and things got even more complicated.

In short, the person was embarrassed regarding the correspondence. I know he is basically the underdog in our batch, nobody really likes him because he is too serious and cranky. Well, I don’t really know. So far we are ok despite the fact the companies we work for are direct competitors. The whole batch is ganging up on him because he is the odd one. He is not apologetic for his behavior and he is just too serious about everything.

Please make them realize this is too trivial to even be pissed off. A person will not change over night. Let him be. Even better, delete him from the group. In that way, the underdog is eliminated.

I am a lurker. I read and do nothing.

Xs:
I tried cooking Chicken in green curry. Disaster. Too hot and spicy even for my taste buds.

Another profile picture

As much as I want to start a chronicle on my adventures as a trying hard-harder-hardest mountaineer, the pictures will not do any justice at all. The point is I survived. Period.

I am posting this among the many pictures taken by either me or somebody else. I actually like this one taken by Mr. Lester Susi at Mt. Ugo. This was our first night. We were all soaking wet and shaking endlessly while setting up our tents and preparing our meals. Of course, the climb would not be complete if we were sober. So we had vodka and gin. They preferred these alcoholic drinks since they don’t usually cause any hangovers. Oh well. I always listen to people who know better, and yes I did not have a splitting headache nor did I feel barfing the following day.

Point well taken and a tip that will last me a lifetime. Looking forward to more climbs. Hopefully no toenails massacre please.

~ Ooopsiesss I watched a PBA game yesterday and I feel extremely old. I barely know all the players. I was more familiar with the coaching staff. Ironically I was cheering on the Ginebra team. Hehehe I don’t really like the team even before. I changed my mind when I saw Allan Caidic, Samboy Lim, Art Dela Cruz and Coach Uichico. My heart still belongs to SMB.

Sunday morning

another Sunday morning
another Snow Patrol song

There’s nothing holding you back
It’s not a test
Nor a trick of the mind
Only love